It is more than the loss of a husband and a lover. It is the lost of my best friend. The person who I had planned to spend the rest of my life with. All those hopes and dreams. Having someone to talk to about the big things and the little things.
And one of the cruellest things is the way it steals your enjoyment for all of the things you used to love. Simple pleasures which would help take your mind off things and make you feel momentarily better but you just cannot summon the energy for.
Everything about this sucks.